Do you know How to stop being shy and quiet? Shyness is a characteristic that annuls the freedom of many people. Yes, that’s right, unfortunately intellectually and even good-looking people are limited to emerge in the way they want because of the fear that causes them to speak to others.
Social anxiety does not distinguish between genders or ages, who least expect it can be shy. The consequences of shyness generate emotional obstacles that deprive those who suffer to find a good job, stand out in the studies and even get a partner.
Although it is very common, overcoming shyness is possible. There are many strategies to improve communication skills.
How to stop being shy and quiet?
The changes will not happen overnight, but gradually the shame can disappear if you set out to do so. Are you tired of being the one or the group’s silent? Would you like to stand in front of everyone and give excellent exposure in classes? Do you long for conversations with that person that you like and observe daily with fear, and who do you want to meet? Then start actively reading from this moment.
1. Increase your confidence
Everything is in the mind, the good that you think of you, and also the negative remains in your mind and expands to your exterior.
So if you change your way of perceiving your inner reality, you will be opening the doors to be a much safer person and others will notice.
Believe in yourself, and when shyness tries to make a scene, control it by remembering all those moments in which you have been in front of an uncomfortable situation and you have left well freed.
Look for what you are doing, for each accomplishment, and this will help make you less vulnerable to fear.
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2. Visualize yourself daily
Find a comfortable place, where nobody bothers you and you can have enough silence to meditate. If you can, get a mirror and put it in front of you. Think about that moment that you have to face with other people, and from which you can not free yourself (an exhibition, job interview, thesis defense) and give your exposure in your mind.
Even, show it in front of the mirror. You will see that there is no fear, stuttering, pallor, sweat, or anything that generally bothers you in real life. If every day you practice a little in front of the mirror and reinforce it with meditation, you will be able to control to a great extent the nervousness that you suffer.
3. You are a winner!
Neuro-linguistic programming helps to build self-confidence. When a person understands that most of the daily speech that he addresses to himself is negative (I can not, I will not achieve it, I do not serve for this. I am going to be scared) and the changes each aggressive phrase with words that motivate him to recognize his skills, is one step closer to freedom from shyness.
Instead of saying you can not, use this phrase: “I am a winner! I can speak in public, and I also do it very well!” Say it confidently, loudly and your brain will take it as an order that it must fulfill.
4. Imitate your interlocutor
To imitate the positions of the person or persons that are speaking to you makes that you become a reflection of themselves and that generates confidence and security in you, and in the other.
Imitate not only the posture, but the tone of voice, and use some sentences of the other’s speech among your answers.
This will make it easier for you to remain calm, and respond firmly to others. This strategy has been used by speakers and great speakers to make their speeches credible and keep their audience always attentive.
5. Oblige yourself to uncomfortable situations
If you do not face your fears, they will harass you and persecute you forever. If instead of sneaking out of every situation in which you are allowed to take the floor, you face it; You can learn to handle yourself better and better.
Just as you conditioned your fears, you can unlearn these behaviors by forcing yourself to remain in uncomfortable situations.
6. Start a conversation
This is the test of fire for the vast majority of the shy. The act of initiating conversations with strangers and even with people from the same work environment can be quite an odyssey.
Try to start a simple conversation with someone you like, maybe you can start with a compliment to the way she is dressed, or about the book you saw on the desk.
This will make the other person respond and you have started a conversation without effort. It’s not that difficult, is it?
7. Know yourself
This phrase is famous for philosophers because it is totally true. You must discover where your fear of people came from. Maybe you had a very bad experience as a child and internalized it so much that you believed it completely.
If your memory can evoke it, you are on the right path to confront your fear. But if you have no idea when shyness arose, it would not hurt to assist a psychologist to explore where your false limiting beliefs come from.
8. If you believe it, others will believe it
If you think your speech is good, others will perceive it this way. So even if you doubt the total of certain parts of your speech, try to pretend that you are on the right track.
In fact, this is a very effective way to overcome shyness is to study theater. You will learn to characterize others and discover the impact of expressions and voice in the psyche of others. Try it!
9. Surround yourself with people with good speaking skills
Good things are transmitted! If you surround yourself with friends with good skills to converse and influence others, you will learn from their attitudes and little by little (without falling into imitations) you will resemble them.
10. The change comes from within
Do you want to improve yourself? If the answer is a resounding yes, you must be firm, since the change is an option that comes from inside each one.
If you start with a lot of energy, and at the very least, you shrink back and hide from people, you have not achieved any real progress.
11. Do not confuse
Do not confuse any quiet person with a shy person. Some love silence because it is part of their nature, and they only make their opinions known when they are absolutely necessary.
They are simply reserved. Suddenly you belong to this category and not to that of people with shyness.
If you have initiatives to participate in classes and socialize, you are not shy, just something introverted and relaxed.
12. Do not worry about the opinion of others
You can not assume that every murmur or giggle is due to a mockery against you. If you have thought in this way you have surely missed the opportunity and stood out more for your own prejudices.
Express yourself without giving much importance to the opinion of others. Live thinking that you are judged permanently against your self-esteem. The information that I presented to you, is not a guide to cure your fears, there are only some simple steps so that you can identify them and learn to manage them.
This way you can be more aware of how other people perceive you and what your behavior is in public. It depends on you to slowly improve or completely change the notion that you have of yourself and that you have projected.
You can also design it based on photos of successful people accompanied by phrases like: “I am like that!”, “I have confidence!”, “I am safe and optimistic!”.
If you put into practice each of these strategies, there will come a time when you will not remember that you were afraid in the past.
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